跟这位非洲兄弟学学吧，哈哈：

  

1

姨奶去世的时候，我不在她身边，也没人告诉我。我得知她的死讯已是半年之后。当时我正在离她很远的另一半球忙着对自己很重要的事情。但她是我成长期最爱我的人，我们却因为没有任何法定关系或者血缘关系，还有庸人的刻意阻挠而不能象正常亲人那样亲近。她活着的时候，我没有养她的能力，如果今天她还在，我一定会把她接过来和我一起住。我一直想着什么时候回去到她的坟前烧些纸，但她葬的地方是穷乡僻野，据说要徒步走许多荒山野岭，很难到达，至今关爱我的人都反对我去做这件事。

还有一个人，我很喜欢的一个前同事，她叫MERYL，和俺偶像STREEP同名。她长得高高大大的，60岁出头的人，看起来健康精神，衣着谈吐十分雅致得体。她已经从一家公司退休，到图书馆做半职有点打发时间的意思。我们在一起常常聊些种花种草的事情，因为她那时正管购买花草方面的书。而我刚去，还没有管购买书籍的经验，她得知我以后的升迁需要这些经验，就主动找到老板，说愿意退出来让我做。可惜没多久我就辞职搬走了。我走后不到半年，就听说她得了脑癌，说是请假后不到三个星期就去世了。

又一个缺席的死亡。事后我常常想，如果当时我还在那个图书馆工作，如果我亲自听她跟我们说这个不幸的消息，我会怎样地反应。

我知道每天都有不相干的人在死，但死亡这个词对于我，一直是个冰冷而遥远的名词，无法动化。

2

我是个喜欢独处的人，朋友不算多，经常往来的熟朋友更少。但昨天又得知一位走得比较近的朋友失去工作了。这半年来，已有三位相孰的朋友受大气候的影响而失业。

这位朋友在PARTY上愁着医疗保险的事情，因为公司会给他九个月的工资，他现在还不太担心吃饱饭的事情，但万一这时候他有个大病小灾什么地，麻烦就大了。

我大学是学经济的，以前一直觉得经济危机这个词，是一个写在书本上的没有生命的词。没想到现在它已经名词动化，并神出鬼没地在我们身边晃悠。

Q：火鸡最喜欢的一首歌是什么？
A：“我梦想着一个白色的圣诞节”（"I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas"）

Q：感恩节这天你有啥想感谢的吗？
A：谢天谢地我不是一只火鸡。

Q：火鸡能跳得比帝国大厦还要高吗？
A：能。帝国大厦根本就跳不起来。

Q：火鸡，你死之前的最后一个愿望是什么？
A：要自由，要平等，要你每一抢都打不中。

0

Roxanne, you don't have to put on the red light, those days are over, you don't have to sell your body to the night.
--The Police--Roxanne '97 (Puff Daddy Remix)

1

经常开LOCAL，虽然从未直接闯过红灯，但闯黄灯时挂点红灯的尾巴时有发生，这么多年来一直都是平安无事的，但昨天闯下的（一个黄灯尾巴）＋（一瞬间的红灯），却被从右手拐进来的警察先生（性别未知，好在先生也可以称呼女士吧）逮个正着。

你说这大过节的，我的运气怎么就这么好呢？

这位警车比较低调，人家不闪灯，也不开警笛，只是默默地紧跟在我后面，那我自然就不能往路边停了。我硬着头皮往前开，心想你不把我停下，我该干嘛就干吗。我这不正去SHOPRITE买牛奶鸡蛋呢，您愿意护驾奉陪吗？

显然人家很愿意。我偏向左道，在另一个红绿灯前停下，打左拐灯准备拐进左手边的购物中心。警车在后边重复着我的动作。左手道得等漫长的迎面车走干净了，才能左拐，警车也不着急，默默地跟在我身后。我拐进购物中心，打灯向右进到SHOPRITE的停车场，人家一如既往地不弃不离，到了这种地步，我心里已经做好了应对警察的准备了。毕竟，俺曾在高速公路上被警察警笛花灯地闪吓过，还有那么点值得吸取的小教训。

2

平心而论，开快车不是我的风格，我是个中庸的人，连开车都喜欢随大流，所以在高速公路上我一般是紧跟着TRAFFIC的，既不会太快，也不会太慢。但那天是个星期天，287高速公路上车辆稀少，我没车可跟，就放任自流，直到被警笛在后面大喊大叫时，才意识到自己超速了，而且一看时速，我竟在65MILE的时速上开到80MILE。

警察走近我窗口的时候，我已经被下晕了，说话都语无伦次的，他向我要驾照和注册卡，我一边找，一边说：我急着回家，真是不知道自己超速了。你要知道，我开车十来年了，从未得过任何罚单，我真不是有意想超速（好象其他人超速都是故意的）。

那位警察很酷，他点着头，视察了一下我的车内，接过我的资料，说：你坐着别动，我马上就回来。

他回到他的车子里捣鼓了大概10分钟左右，当然对我来说那十分钟的煎熬比一个小时还要长。他回到我的车窗前，笑着说：我查了一下你的驾驶记录，你的确从未得过任何违规罚单，我不想成为你的第一次（够油墨吧，呵呵），所以，我今天给你开个超速警告单。

然后，他又指着我时速器旁边的一个蹦蹦跳大熊猫玩具说：这个，会打扰你看时速器，你回家就得把它取下来。我给你开一张车内有障碍物的轻微罚单，这个不会进到你的违规记录里，也不会积点，不会影响到你的保险费，我能做的也只有这些了。

那意思是，我被宽大处理了。经过了这件事，我除了感念着这位警察兄弟的善良外，得出的另一个经验是五大三粗的警察先生们也不是机器人，相反，他们大多数都是吃软欺硬的。

3

这样一番历史回顾之后，我决定还是老老实实地承认错误。虽然我不会象上次那样惊惶失措了，但那句“开车这么多年，我从未得过一张违规罚单”的话还是实话，还可以再说一遍，看看他（或者她）是不是想做我的第一次。为了积极配合警察的到来，我找了一个有并排车位的地方停了下来，然后摇下车窗，等着执法官大人的光临。

过了几秒钟没见动静，我往回看，身后也没车子。我起身下了车，却看到那俩警车远去的背影，我充满疑惑地盯着它看，直到它渐渐消地失在我的视野里。

听歌请进－－Right Now (Na Na Na)

It's been so long
that I haven't seen your face
I'm tryna be strong
But the strength I have is washing away
It wont be long before i get you by my side
And just hold you, tease you, squeeze you till
I was fill all my mind

I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now

I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now

Girl I know mistake were made between us two
And we show our eyes that now even says somethings weren't true
watch you go and haven't seen my girl since then
why can it be the way it was
coz you were my homie lover friend
I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now

I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now

I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Tell i get you back Im gone try
I miss you much
coz you are the apple in my eye
Girl I miss you much
I miss you much
I can't lie
I miss you much
Watching everyday that goes by
I miss you much
Tell i get you back I m gonna try
I miss you much
You are the apple in my eye
I miss you much
I miss you much

I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now

I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now

I want you to fly with me
want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
miss I how you lie
jus wish you could dine with me
wish you could dine
the one that'll grind with me with me
said the one that'll grind with me

I want you to fly with me
want you to fly
I miss how you lie with me
miss I how you lie
I wish you could dine with me
wish you could dine
the one that'll grind with me with me
said the one that'll grind with me

I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now

I wanna make up right now now now
I wanna make up right now now now
Wish we never broke up right now now now
we need to link up right now now now

你说 你是绵羊爱上饿狮
其实 我才是困兽痴恋猎人

我的灵魂 被撕成两半
在你出现的那一瞬

我威力无边 阅人无数
却看不透你的心

你的盼顾让我难以自控
你的气味让我眩晕

你的血 让我饥渴
诱引出我最原始的兽欲本真

你的爱 是我的毒
最剧烈的那种海洛因

只要你说 我不怕你
我体内的恶魔 就如婴孩般乖顺

只要你说 别离开我
我愿抛下一切 只做你的守护神

你的微笑 光晕一样神秘
让我失去判断 乱了方寸

告诉我 命运！
它到底是我的黎明，还是黄昏？

给老婆当一天的摄影师，拍下她在家里的生活情景，这样的浪漫需要理由吗？当然，如果你是一般人，如果你的照片不是拿去上封面，你就没必要解释什么。

小布说，我为什么想要给安琪拍照呢？是这样的：

通常别人替安琪拍照上杂志封面时，她总被当作一个狐狸精（嗯，FEMME FATALE， 有一首歌就是这么唱的），那样的角色她扮演得挺好的。但是呢，她也有最宽广的心胸，旺盛的精力，她可爱而又善良。她是一位不知疲倦的母亲，有了不起的恩典，是我们家的粘合剂。("Usually when Angie's shot [for a magazine] she's seen as a femme fatale, and she does that very well. But she also has the biggest heart and just inexhaustible spirit and sweetness and goodness。She's an inexhaustible mother and great grace and the real glue of the family.")

看得出来，小布是想把老婆的美德秀给世人看。嗯，一位很骄傲的老公和老爸，这样的好男人，值得拎出来大加赞赏一番。瞧这一家子，就是一个完整的联合国嘛：

     

And what costume shall the poor girl wear
To all tomorrow's parties
A hand-me-down dress from who knows where
To all tomorrow's parties
And where will she go and what shall she do
When midnight comes around
She'll turn once more to Sunday's clown and cry behind the door

And what costume shall the poor girl wear
To all tomorrow's parties
Why silks and linens of yesterday's gowns
To all tomorrow's parties
And what will she do with Thursday's rags
When Monday comes around
She'll turn once more to Sunday's clown and cry behind the door

And what costume shall the poor girl wear
To all tomorrow's parties
For Thursday's child is Sunday's clown
For whom none will go mourning

A blackened shroud, a hand-me-down gown
Of rags and silks, a costume
Fit for one who sits and cries
For all tomorrow's parties

1

有一年过节，在朋友家看到一盆奇妙的花，叶子是稍薄的仙人掌状，带刺的手，看似张牙舞爪的，却忽而在指尖开出一只翩翩欲飞的玫瑰色蝴蝶。

它让我想起伶牙俐齿的黛玉，嘴里虽然说着带刺的话抢白宝玉，但他红着脸细细体会之后，句句都是殷切的爱意，让人恨三分，爱七分。是谓：刺在额头，美在心头。

后来，得知它叫CHRISTMAS CACTUS，其实还是仙人掌类，英文名源于它在圣诞节前后开花；中文叫蟹爪兰，显而易见是象形的取名法。

再后来，每次经过花房，我总留意这类花，偶尔看到，不是太贵，就是长得不好。就在前几个星期，SAMSCLUB 批量进了满满的几架子，每一盆都精神可爱。我挑了一盆花苞多的，却找不到通常留在盆子里的护理小卡片。货架上面有个大牌子，上面写着护理要诀1，2，3。我赶紧掏出小本本记了下来：

1）10天浇一次水，一次只能浇两杯；
2）不要放在窗户，通风口处；
3）不要直晒，最好是折射光，要给它足够的黑暗时间。




2

我只能说这是我养花十几年来碰到的最难养的一种。其他都好说，最棘手的是只能浇两杯水。因为种室内花草的人都知道一个浇水的准则，那就是你要么不浇水，要么就得浇透。一般最好的办法是把花盆放进盛满水的大盆里，让它土壤浸透，然后再空干。而这两杯水，又怎能把那一大盆土壤浇均匀呢？

所以，刚买回来那两天，我就憋着没给他浇水。它花开得一直很好，一朵连一朵，近看是一只只蝴蝶，远看是一片红云。过了快十天，花盆越来越轻，我就撑不下去了，浇了两杯下去，跟啥也没有似的，我不放心，索性豁出去了，放到水漕里对着水龙头一阵狂浇，等差不多透了才罢休，之后又拼命地替它挤水，但怎么也挤不干，放那儿半天，抱起来还是沉甸甸的，我知道大事不妙了。

果然，第二天有一半的蝴蝶儿不飞了，软软地塌了下来。我知道，是我把它们淹死的。

还好，又过了几天，那些小花苞们又变成蝴蝶了。旧的去了，新的还在来。

如果花苞开完了，还会有新的花苞吗？我不知道！

再过十天，我能够控制住自己，只浇两杯水吗？我还是不知道！

如果这盆花我养不过圣诞节，就只好把丑话说在前头：所有美好的东西，都是短暂的。

1）和美女Beyoncé一起露鸡腿

今年的感恩节圣诞节，尤其不好过，新总统的魅力也止不住股市的节节败退，大概许多人都没心情吃火鸡。不过呢，有意无意中啃上贾斯汀的鸡腿，还是会让你忍禁不住地乐呵一阵子地。所以，我们要大力推广贾斯汀这种永于献身的精神。

 

2）盒子里的DD

这种献身精神其实是有传统的，他和ANDY SAMBERG 的二重唱 DICK IN A BOX （歌词），曾经给过圣诞节不知道送啥礼物给女朋友的男孩子们提供了灵感（喜欢SAMBERG的同学应该去看看这个Iran So Far （歌词），这是SNL的不可错过的经典MV）：

            

3）MR. SEXYBACK

他的歌，我最喜欢的是这首SEXBACK，可惜YOUTUBE这个版本把一句很性感的歌词给改成洁版了。反正旋律还是很提神，爱跳舞的人一听这歌，脚就会痒痒的。

I'm bringing sexy back
Them other boys don't know how to act
I think you're special whats behind your back
So turn around and i'll pick up the slack.
Take em' to the bridge

Babe
You see these shackles
Baby I'm your slave
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave
It's just that no one makes me feel this way

Take em' to the chorus
Come here girl
Go ahead, be gone with it
Come to the back
Go ahead, be gone with it
VIP
Go ahead, be gone with it
Drinks on me
Go ahead, be gone with it
Let me see what you're working with
Go ahead, be gone with it
Look at those hips
Go ahead, be gone with it
You make me smile
Go ahead, be gone with it
Go ahead child
Go ahead, be gone with it
And get your sexy on
Go ahead, be gone with it
Get your sexy on

I'm bringing sexy back
Them other boys don't know how to act
Come let me make up for the things you lack
Cause your burning up I gotta get it fast
Take em' to the bridge

I'm bringing sexy back
Them other boys watch while I attack
If that's your girl you better watch your back
Cause she'll burn it up for me and that's a fact

Take em' to the chorus

COS: I can tell that Sharon is confused.
Wendy: But how do you know? Look, she is just smiling.
Sharon: Cos is right, Wendy. The smile is just a cover-up.

你的目光象针芒，
轻轻地挑破
她罩着困惑的伪装

昨晚的“六十分钟”节目，重头戏是对新总统和第一夫人的访谈。新总统基本上很健谈，很严肃地谈国事，很风趣地谈家事。一提到家人孩子与狗，新总统总是低调了又低调，想跟太太不被人打搅地散步，想让女儿们和其他孩子一样很平常地长大，想按部就班地搬进白宫之后，再去考虑选什么狗的问题。

但是呢，一问到他最近读什么书，人家的调子就高起来了：正在孰读林肯呢。当然，俺们平庸之辈也知道林肯对于美国的意义，也知道榜样的力量是无穷的，只是现在还没开始工作，调子起高了，以后唱不下去可咋办呢？

      

   
        

听歌请进－－LIGHT ON

Never really said too much
Afraid it wouldn’t be enough
Just try to keep my spirits up
When there’s no point in grieving
Doesn’t matter anyway
Words could never make me stay
Words will never take my place
When you know I’m leaving

Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on
And when it’s late at night you can look inside
You won’t feel so alone

You know we’ve been down that road
What seems a thousand times before
My back to a closing door and my eyes to the seasons
That roll out underneath my heels
And you don’t know how bad it feels
To leave the only one that I have ever believed in

Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on
And when it’s late at night you can look inside
You won’t feel so alone

Sometimes it feels like we’ve run out of luck
When the signal keeps on breaking up
When the wires cross in my brain
You’ll start my heart again
When I come along

Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Something I rely on to get home
One I can feel at night
A naked light, a fire to keep me warm
Try to leave a light on when I’m gone
Even in the daylight, shine on
And when it’s late at night you can look inside
You won’t feel so alone

    

Smile,
Tough your heart is aching
Smile,
Even though it's breaking,
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile
Through your fears and sorrow, smile
And maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you.
Light up your face with gladness,
Hide ev'ry trace of sadness,
Altho' a tear may be ever so near,
That's the time you must keep on trying,
Smile,
What's the use of crying,
You'll find that life is still worhwhile,
If you just smile.

昨晚第一次去给你们乐队做义工：布置舞池，做义务售票员。虽然，因为下雨，来的人不多，没卖出去多少张票，但给每个人手背上都盖个鹿花章，怪好玩的。

而且，还可以看人跳舞，好几对老年舞棍，探戈跳得真不错唉。还见到赛婉娜了，李紫介绍我们认识，她饱满美丽，肤色黝黑发亮，我想起非洲一种黑色的郁金香。上次一听她唱SUMMERTIME就被她迷倒，昨晚又再一次晕迷，更重要的是这一次有你的小号声伴奏，比听ARMSTRONG的小号声还要受用。

而且的而且，听到了一个激动人心的小道消息，说你们乐队有可能去华盛顿参加明年一月的新总统就职大典。每个人说起这个都喜形于色，说仅仅被邀请就是一种很高的荣誉，不过要经过严格审查的，最后全国大概只有两三个高中乐队会被录取。

真希望这个消息能从小道变成大道，因为见证历史和身写历史，毕竟还是不一样的。

过了年，又要回学校做读书狼了，拿我的第二个大师学位（Master's Degree），反正闲着也是闲着，忙起来，日子过得快些。

跟朋友聊天，说起这个。她说，“你真勇敢啊，我现在想起考试或者写论文就头疼。”

我说：哪里，就好象生过第一胎的孕妇，把先前的疼给忘了而已。

朋友说：“对对。话说回来，生第二胎也快，因为道路已经很畅通了嘛。”

呵呵，够贫的。俺尽量吧，争取一年之内把它拿下来，生孩子从受精到怀孕，也差不多得这些时间吧。

听歌请进－－If I were A Boy

If I were a boy
even just for a day
I'd roll out of bed in the morning
and throw on what I wanted and go

Drink beer with the guys
and chase after girls
I'd kick it with who I wanted
and I'd never get confronted for it
cause they stick up for me

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken
so they'd think that I was sleeping alone

I’d put myself first
and make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’ll be faithful,
waiting for me to come home, to come home.

If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taking you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

It's a little too late for you to come back
Say it's just a mistake,
think i'd forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
you thought wrong

But you're just a boy
You don't understand
and you don't understand, ohhhh
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you wish you were a better man
You don't listen to her
You don't care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you're taking her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

but your just a boy

 
不许妒嫉SUNDAY她妈！